Well, for many of you the title might be enough to know about what am I going to speak about, for others there may be raised eyebrows and several question marks, thats what i anticipate!!!
We often ask the question to ourselves, what is the meaning of my existence in this world? And then get the answer, "I have many things to do and many goals to achieve".," People should know me", "My name should be listed in XYZ lists", and so on. In pursuit of fulfilling these wishes we just give our whole lives.
I want people to recognize me, I should be famous. My existence should have a meaning in other people's thinking. My thoughts should be acceptable and I should get respect from others. And at the minute level, people should call me or even acknowledge me. I often see people turning grumpy when not called to or even when not waved at.
Reason ? My answer to all this is Ego! My sense of self is satisfied when I get recognition. When people say good things or bad things about me, The Ego gets an Identity. All my efforts are diverted towards proving this identity, proving my presence by the Ego. It always keeps the image intact come what may. For the same purpose I may even go against my well-wishers.
All of the negative emotions like sorrow, anger, misery are the ways of Ego to keep alive the identity. If this identity is alive, there is no scope for me to awaken and be alert against the Ego. Even rejection, despair, feeling unwanted, lonely are all by products of Ego!
I keep calling people, friends so that I keep them informed about my Presence. I hurt people, or help them, take charge of their lives of give my charge to them and keep reminding them the same. I disturb others in whatever they are doing, make jokes in an ongoing lectures, give information about what things I have done so that it may be registered in people's minds. I publish blogs so that people recognize my writings. I take pride about things people say for me. Even I need consolation so as to feed my ego, and for that I remain dejected or depressed, low on confidence, etc.
Thus Ego has to just trigger this thought of "My Presence" and its work of keeping me asleep is done. Now I have to wake up and just know My Presence IS.
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